Davidson Library, UCSB
The day after the bank burning, I have a full day of classes. Afterward, I go to the library to study. I take the elevator to the eighth floor and find a quiet spot at one of the shiny wooden worktables. I’m reading Twelfth Night for my Shakespeare class, but the mistaken-identity plot is silly and the mean-spirited pranks don’t make me laugh. I stare at the long rows of tall metal stacks without seeing them.
The Eighth-floor Stacks
It’s way past suppertime when I come to the end of Twelfth Night. I push my chair back and get up. I stretch my hands up toward the ceiling and lean left, then right. I wiggle my butt to get the circulation back and shove the wooden chair with its hard seat back against the table. I gather my textbooks and notes and carry them to the elevator. I push the “down” button and wait. It comes. The silent metal doors slide open like portals on a spaceship and I step inside. I hit the round button that says “1” and the elevator descends. Elevators make me dizzy, as if I’d left part of myself on the top floor, and the enclosed space gives me a sick feeling. What if it gets stuck partway down? The elevator reaches the ground floor and the doors slide open. My legs feel wobbly; I’m glad to step out onto solid floor.
I go outside and down the concrete steps to my bicycle. I pedal to the UCen (University Center). There are vending machines in the cafeteria where I buy an apple and a packet of powdered sugar mini-donuts. I get watery instant coffee from another machine and sit down by the dark window to eat my supper. The tart juiciness of the apple complements the powdery donuts and I wolf them down. A couple of older men in tweed jackets, probably profs, smoke and drink coffee several tables away. They’re the only other people here. The huge room is lonely and creepy, a sea of empty tables. Metal girders crisscross the high ceilings. The dark windows along one wall reflect the emptiness and make the cavernous space look vast. It seems to go on forever. I need to go home. I throw the apple core, half-drunk coffee, and donut wrapper in the green metal trashcan on my way out to the bike rack.
I pedal past the art department and head toward Pardall Road, but at the eucalyptus-bordered path at the edge of the campus, a line of police cars blocks the way into Isla Vista. I stop, slide off my seat and straddle the bike. Two cops in helmets swing their clubs and smack them against their gloved hands as they swagger up to me.
“Just turn that bike around and go right back,” the shorter one tells me. “Nobody gets past this point.” He sweeps his baton toward the path leading to campus as if he’s directing traffic.
I freeze. I can’t move. I don’t even breathe.
“Go on,” the cop barks. “Back the way you came.”
“I… I–But I need to go home!” My throat closes up on the first words, then the last part tumbles out in a rush: “I live on Sabado Tarde.”
“Yeah, right!” the short cop sneers. He smiles, but it’s a mean smile, a shark’s grin. He steps closer and I shrink back. My left calf catches on the bike pedal and I almost fall down.
“What’re you doing out so late?” the taller cop demands, his feet planted a good distance apart for stability. He shifts his hands on the club, grips it hard like he’s about to hit me.
“I’ve been at the library, studying.” The words come out high and squeaky. I reach into my basket to pull out my Shakespeare book, to show them–
“Hands out where we can see them!” barks the tall cop, and I freeze. The other cop comes over with a flashlight and paws through my books with gloved hands.
The two cops look at each other and shake their heads. “No weapons, just books,” the shorter one says. He sounds disappointed.
“Ohhh kay–” The taller cop drags out the word and then pauses.
Minutes drag by. I stand still, hands clenched on the handlebars. The shorter cop shifts his club from one hand to the other and back again. The cops look at each other and shrug.
“Weeeelll, I suppose you can give it a try,” the taller cop says at last. “Go all the way down to El Nido and make your way back from there. Stay away from the center of town.” He waves me on with his club.
The eucalyptus path between Isla Vista and the campus where the cops stopped me
El Nido Lane is at the end of the road, near the beach. I get back on my bike and pedal past more police cars. Fear clutches my body like a giant icy hand and it’s hard to move. My legs shake as I pedal. I try not to wobble–if I swerve, they might think I’m going for a sudden attack. I imagine them hiding behind the eucalyptus trees with guns trained on me. But why are they here? Why have they blocked the streets?
I reach the end of the road. I turn onto El Nido and steer down the narrow street past oak trees and rows of apartment buildings. I hear yelling and what sounds like firecrackers. When I get to El Embarcadero, where there’s a clear view, I stop. At the bottom of the business loop a couple of blocks away, police cars line the street and crowds of people surge back and forth in a cloud of tear gas. What the–? I just want to get as far away as I can. I turn and go the opposite direction toward the beach, and onto Del Playa and make my way home from there. Out here, it’s quiet and peaceful. A breeze from the ocean tangles my hair. It smells like salt. Maybe it will blow away the tear gas.