And off she goes…

I sent the story off again. I have a couple of things out now, after not submitting any stories for a long time when all the writing I was doing was on my novel. I got lots of rejections before I started that novel, but I got something accepted, too, only to have the magazine abruptly fold and cease publication just when the issue with my story was about to come out. Now I have to get used to rejection letters all over again, as I’m working on stories in between revisions of the novel.

Yesterday’s rejection was the first of what will inevitably be many, and I decided to change the energy on my end at least. Now I’m having a bit of fun composing an all-purpose rejection letter of my own.

Dear Writer:

Just by adding to the hundreds of unsolicited manuscripts we receive every day you have already annoyed us even before we opened our mail. An enormous glut of submissions makes it impossible for us to respond personally, but these few cogent points cover nearly every circumstance:

1.  You may have noticed that we publish the same authors over and over again. This is because we like what they write. If your manuscript does not resemble P.J. Inkwell, Clementine Boxwood, or “Iguana” (well, you get the idea), chances are it is not for us.

2.  If your writing does, perchance, bring “Iguana” or the others to mind, we may come to the verge of liking it, but why should we use it when we can publish the real thing?

Therefore, for either/both of the above reasons, your manuscript has been recycled.

Best,

Iguana, Editor

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