Eating triggers

The last time I rented a DVD movie, I finished off some mint chocolate chip ice cream that was in my freezer. It was probably about a pint, and it was enough to leave me feeling soggy and bloated afterwards. I bought two melons the next time I went grocery shopping so I would have something low-calorie yet juicy and satisfying to eat in front of the TV. I bought them before I had even thought of committing myself to a month of mindful eating.

So now I had two large melons in my refrigerator. I started the green one several days ago, a little bit at a time, and I started to worry that they would spoil now that I wouldn’t be watching movies and polishing them off in one sitting. There is something about the round shape of a melon that makes me feel protective, and having them spoil is not okay. I transferred the last of the green melon out of its refrigerator container into a bowl and filled the container with chunks of  the larger, orange cantaloupe. I had quiche and melon under the hazelnut tree. My mind was very bossy, insisting that I finish the green melon before I could have any of the orange one because it wouldn’t keep much longer. I had already tasted the orange melon while I was cutting it up, and it was the best cantaloupe I ever tasted, pure heaven! I did pay attention as I finished the chunks of green melon, but I wasn’t appreciating it as much as I had when I first opened it because I wanted the other one now.

Today is my day off work, and I watched another movie, Trainspotting, about heroin addicts in Scotland. I’d had breakfast just a short time ago, but I found myself feeling very hungry. Watching a movie had triggered the urge to stuff myself! It wasn’t melons I was craving–I wanted Mexican food. I couldn’t possibly have been really hungry, but my mouth was used to plenty of activity during a movie so hunger feelings were triggered out of habit. I sat through the hunger, ironically watching a movie about addiction, and after it was over, I fixed a burrito for lunch. Now, writing about the movie and feeling hungry, I’m hungry again! But I’m writing this on the computer, and I do so love to zone out eating while I’m looking at things on the web. I will be sitting through this too–on my zafu cushion!


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