Trouble focusing

Today I set up my new computer,  tweaking the settings in a brand-new operating system by trial and error. I messed up a few times and had to do several things over; the instruction book I ordered hasn’t come yet. I found the whole thing frustrating and stressful until I finally got things mostly sorted out.

It was really hard to pay attention and focus on what I was eating. I had a sandwich for lunch and forced myself to stay outside and away from the computer while I ate, but my mind kept spinning off in all directions, planning what I would try next,  and bites would be gulped down before I remembered to pay attention and experience the textures and flavors.

Supper was stir-fried vegetables with soy sauce and grated fresh ginger, along with some free-range beef. I ate with chopsticks out on the deck, away from the finally-set-up computer. Now, I thought, I can relax. I picked up the vegetables one at a time, enjoying the different textures and the way the ginger enhanced the flavor wonderfully, but my thoughts flew off on a tangent on how hard it is for me to be mindful in stressful situations. And this wasn’t even a bad situation–just a pain-in-the-butt hassle when I couldn’t get things to work right at first. I ate a pea pod, noting the almost woody texture of the pod and the smoothness of the peas inside. After the stir-fry, I had melon. I’d bought what looked like a cantaloupe, but to my surprise, it was green, not orange inside. My mouth loved the sweet juiciness of it after the salty soy sauce.

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